Take it or leave it

One of the best parts of my MBA was a module called Creative Management. There was a nice introspective self-indulgent section that looked at your personal style, your management style, your role within teams, and where you fit in the Kirton Adaptor Innovator Theory (which I highly recommend). But one of the simplest things that has always stayed with me was a section on problem solving. I would listen to the cassette (this was some years ago) in the car, with the soothing voice telling me there were four ways to deal with a situation: Accept the situation Change the situation Change yourself Leave the situation I thought this was a neat way to look at lots of situations - not just work. In essence though, choices invariably boiled down to the first one and the last one. Take it or leave it really. One of my former internet friends used to say if he left a forum he would just go without any fanfare. We laughed at the number of people we saw who gave a valedictory speech, citing their grievances - never to come back - yet who returned a couple of weeks later. I've left a fair few forums - or rather, I've stopped reading/commenting when there is no longer any added value from visiting them. I've always found it - relatively - easy to leave a situation. And for me, it's really been my only choice. I'm not very good at accepting something I'm not happy with. To be able to change a situation, we need to be in a position of some power and influence, which in a lot of cases simply doesn't apply. And as for changing ourselves? Not easy. Last year however, as part of the admin team on an internet site, some of us actually did try and change the way it was working. Or rather, it didn't seem to be following the aims and principles that had been set out initially. For our pains we were all sacked by the site owner. Today I wrote a carefully worded letter of resignation to another internet site where I am part of the team. I've enjoyed my time on the site, there's been no grief, and I've always been thanked for my time and my effort. But when you don't agree with the way things are going - whether at work, in your personal life, or on the internet - it's time to get out. I guess I've always been lucky enough to have the option of walking. Either literally or virtually. And maybe I've been determined to leave. Time to move on. I like to think there's no going back.

Online gaming - and those all-American values

Well, I knew stuff all about gaming companies as I'm not the world's biggest gambler.

My experience of gambling/gaming has been:

1. Paying £1 a week into a lottery syndicate at work - it was more of an insurance policy than anything else - I would have hated to have missed out on the win, and see my colleagues resign and leave me glued to my desk for ever and a day....
2. Playing poker or gin/seven card rummy or dominoes with Partner for money - we sit down with a bag of silver threepences, share them out, and when we have finished playing, they all go back in the bag.
3. I did play dominoes for a wager a few years ago. Me, Partner and his at-the-time arsey Spanish mate. We agreed the loser would buy the next round. I won. He (ie ASP) bought the drinks. Ha!

Anyway onto some comments about gaming after I wrote last month about a favourable court decision for Gibraltar regarding autonomous tax laws.

This was basically where Gibraltar and the UK successfully fought an EU decision saying that Gib could not set its own tax regime, and would have significantly affected investment in Gibraltar had the decision been upheld. We enjoyed an extra bank holiday on Monday to celebrate this.

So, I decided to look up some stuff about gaming. Let's start with PartyGaming. According to Wiki, it is best known for its online poker room - PartyPoker.com. And prior to the passage of anti-online gambling legislation by the US Congress, PartyGaming was the world's biggest online poker brand.

Ooops - almost forgot to add, it is headquartered in Gibraltar. Founded in 1997, PartyGaming went public on the London Stock Exchange in 2005. In that year it made it into the FTSE 100 and profits before tax were $325 million. A success story. Nice. The fly in the ointment?

On September 29, 2006, the US Congress passed the Safe Port Act. Passed incidentally, at midnight, the day Congress adjourned for the 2006 elections. What, might anyone with half a brain ask, has online gambling got to do with anti-terrorist legislation? Well according to Wiki - there is no relationship. "Unrelated anti-gambling language" was added to the act, and it is called the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act.

After that, PartyGaming (and others) then suspended offering real-money games to US players. Free games and non-US players were not affected. PartyGaming's publicly traded stock dropped almost 60% in 24 hours. The company was moved from the FTSE 100 to the FTSE 250 Index. Back to the Safe Port Act. What does the US web site say about it? "To improve maritime and cargo security through enhanced layered defenses, and for other purposes."

Really? That is just so relevant to online gambling. Full text of the gambling amendment here. And here is some more insight into this bizarre legislation. Apparently I can't reproduce from that site so I can't quote the par that says the Safe Port Act is an absurdity that attempted to placate the religious right element of the Republican Party....etc etc. It's short though and worth a read to get a bit more insight into this odd situation..

Basically the act is not an online gambling ban. But it does ban the transfer of funds by US banks, credit card companies and payment processors between gamblers and online operators. (With, for some reason, the exception of fantasy sports, online lotteries, and horse racing).

This story of gaming + poker + Gib + America is not complete without mentioning Anurag Dikshit, an Indian-born billionaire who lives in Gibraltar. Mr Dikshit was one of the founding members of PartyGaming, with Ruth Parasol, although he stepped down from the board in 2006.

Before Christmas 2008, he pleaded guilty in a US court to offering illegal gambling services in the United States and agreed to pay $300 million (£192 million) under the terms of his plea bargain. He is due to be sentenced in two years time, December 2010. Source TimesOnline. And from the same source: "Online gambling firms have run into trouble in the US after America made it illegal to gamble on the internet.

In 2006, Washington passed the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act and since then the DoJ under the Bush Administration has taken a hard line with foreign gambling firms. Washington has been accused of caving in to pressure from Las Vegas and of trying to protect America’s substantial horse racing betting businesses." Now why did I think there might be a little tiny bit of self-interest in this legislation? It seems I am not the only one.

So is this act about family values and helping gambling addicts? Haha. Is it fuck. It is about money, American money, and anyone who thinks otherwise probably believed in WMD too. The classic quote to sum it all up comes from Senator Robert Goodlatte, a long-term proponent for banning - foreign - internet gambling. "Virtual betting parlors have attempted to avoid the application of the United States law by locating themselves offshore and out of jurisdictional reach. "These offshore, fly-by-night Internet gambling operators are unlicensed, untaxed, un-regulatable and are sucking billions of dollars out of the United States." That says it all doesn't it? If it ain't taxed, licensed and regulated by the good old US of A, it's illegal. Such arrogance.

But - the ones based in Gibraltar may be offshore - but they are neither unlicensed, untaxed, and un-regulatable. From the Gibraltar government website: Internet Gaming REMOTE GAMBLING FROM GIBRALTAR All gaming operations in Gibraltar require licensing under the Gambling Act 2005. The Licensing Authority will only consider licensing blue chip companies with a proven track record in gaming, licensed in a reputable jurisdiction, of good financial standing and with a realistic business plan. Licences are generally difficult to obtain. As at 1st September 2008 there were twenty licensed operators... But offshore companies may well be - or rather have been - sucking billions of dollars out of the US.

And do I care? No. And clearly neither did US online gamblers. Ah America. The land of the free. Probition. Protectionism. Advocate of entrepreneurial success, the free market economy, and globalisation until it comes down to other countries sucking up your bucks. Still, no doubt when you have raked in the dollars by prosecuting the likes of Mr Dikshit and others, I am sure you will be putting the money into your sparkling health service to help gambling addicts and their families.

Because rather than messing around prosecuting offshore companies that are running legal, regulated, and taxable businesses, I suggest you look to your health service. The stories I have read on the internet about American health care are beyond belief. In fact, they would drive one to gamble just to fund the insurance premiums. And if anyone is naive enough to believe that Barack Obama will reverse the legislation, you are making the wrong bet. What government ever reverses legislation when it has been of financial benefit to the country? To end - here is a link to a great YouTube vid looking at online gambling, morals, and .... money.

Sources - among others - Times Online, Washington Post, Gibraltar Government, various gaming sites, various right-wing family values hypocritical American sites. See, I don't have to be neutral on my blog, but at least I do read the stuff I disagree with before I say what hypocritical garbage it is.

What I like...

...or maybe don't like - about men - is their complete lack of sensitivity and total inability to get the plot. I think that is sufficient. If this means nothing to you, then quite possibly, you are a man.

Once.......

......I had a good internet friend. We 'met' a couple of years ago, and exchanged the odd pm, email, had a few laughs and invariably fell out. But last Christmas/New Year (2007) we were on relatively sociable terms, and exchanged polite and friendly seasonal greetings. For one reason and another, a few months later, we started emailing each other more regularly. He was funny, with a sharp sense of humour, and he made me laugh. He was thoughtful, and honest. Over the weeks, we grew to trust each other, or at least, I trusted him. He was there for me when I wanted to moan, or confide in someone. He had a sensible pragmatic answer if I was fed up. We played internet scrabble, we competed at Sploofus, and we linked on Facebook. But if I was to look for someone who was the total opposite of me, I would never have been as successful in finding someone as this chance internet encounter. Our lives are - and have been - very different. And so are our views, opinions and values. Maybe that was our downfall. We fell out about Sploofus, we fell out over scrabulous, and I've lost count of the number of times he removed me as a friend from Facebook. Plus blocking me so it looked like he no longer existed on there. Sounds childish. It was, but maybe arguing over the silly stuff was instead of arguing over the important differences. I don't know. I'm surprised we stuck it out so long. He was incredibly patient with my temperamental tantrums, and so easy-going. But I didn't like being told 'You're too focused on the whole thing' about some of my views. Perhaps I felt judged, and criticised. Perhaps there wasn't really any common ground at all. Maybe a few laughs wasn't enough. I didn't mind the fact that I wrote more than him (I write lots anyway), but eventually I got sick of him not answering my questions. Or not telling me anything about himself. It began to feel too one-sided. Maybe the downturn started a couple of months ago. I realised I no longer wanted to share anything with him. I could no longer write what I thought to him. My fingers froze over the keyboard and I started erasing countless draft emails. I still don't know what had changed it for me. Was it when he refused to play internet scrab with me any more? Haha! Or just an accumulation of disgreements? We stuck it out for another couple of months, although we hardly wrote much in retrospect. So a new year, and and a new start. I'll miss him. I doubt he'll miss me. He'll shrug his shoulders in a macho sort of way and clear off shooting or geocaching or something. Friends huh??

On friends......

I read this post on Flowerpot's blog. It's friends who are there. When you've been holding it all together and the smallest thing – like stubbing your toe – can release an outpouring of frustration, guilt, loneliness or fear. Or all of those. It's then that I value my friends most. To be able to pick up the phone and say, in wobbly voice, “can I come round?” or “how about meeting for a drink? In five minutes?” And hearing that soothing voice the other end of the phone saying, “Yes of course, I'll be there in five minutes.” And oh, the relief of letting it all spill out. Tears of joy or worry; actually voicing those fears that kept you awake all night and now, when exposed to the open air and a kindly friend, suddenly lose their terror. You find you can accept them; laugh over them perhaps. And you part, later, awash with tea or wine and the best feeling of all. That warm, glowing feeling (no, not the one after sex!) but a quieter, more solid sensation that has its feet on the ground. It is steadying and precious and available to us all to be shared. Years ago,when I moved to Falmouth and bemoaned leaving all my friends behind, my dear friend Av said, “When you share a problem with someone, that's when they become a friend.” It hadn't occurred to me until she said it, and of course how right she is. So in honour of all our friends, and to those especially in need, please pass this post on. Wow. Because I can't think of anyone who I would choose to share any of my problems with. I really don't want to bore them to bits when they probably have their own very different problems and issues to deal with. And that applies to my friends going back years, and my more recent internet friends. So my take on friends is very different. But someone really made my day today. An internet friend who once told me that she didn't distinguish between friends she had met and friends on the internet - to her, we are all her friends. So I duly went to the post office to collect the Christmas present she had sent. It was exactly what I wanted. Something I had mentioned a couple of months ago, and then, it never came up again. What a sweetheart. When there is disappointment and disillusionment in life, to receive such a thoughtful gift - from someone I haven't met - was so lovely. Thanks.

A vegetarian meal

It was the firm's Christmas meal today, and ever-mindful of Partner being vegetarian, the director organising it had requested a vegetarian meal for him.

He'd had breakfast at the appointed venue recently and said it was pretty good, so he had high hopes.

First course was minestrone, and when he asked, he was told it was made with vegetarian stock. So far so good.

The main course, was potatoes (mashed), potatoes (sauteed), and a potato (jacket), carrots and peas. Er, that's it.

Partner likes potatoes but even he was slightly overfaced. It is surely not beyond the creativity of someone working in a kitchen to come up with something a little more inventive than three different types of potatoes and two veg.

For example:
*buy a pot of hummus and serve with salad, raw veg, and pitta bread or even toast
*get a couple of veg samosas from one of the Indian takeaways and add those
*or felafels from a Moroccan shop
*or even a veggie burger from the supermarket
*or stick a few veg on skewers and make veg kebabs
*or as a last resort, that old staple from about 20 years ago or more - an omelette - in the days when the only thing people could think to cook for vegetarians was an omelette.

There must be many more easy examples of cheap fast vegetarian food but these were just the first few off the top of my head. Thanks to the firm for trying, they ordered in plenty of time, so it shouldn't have been that difficult.

But dear me. Why are we still being treated like such second-class citizens?

Arse of the Week Award

First prize goes to the totally ignorant inconsiderate driver on Queensway on Saturday afternoon who seemed to think
a) it was necessary to speed, and
b) specifically speed through puddles and splash passers-by.

In fact, not just splash passers-by, soak them. Throw water right up the back of my coat, all down the back of my trousers so they were soaked inside and out, and my boots as well of course.

It took two days for the boots to dry out, and I don't know how long it would have taken the clothes, but I chucked them in the tumble dryer.

Now listen, you arsehole in your small go-fasty goody. I am not walking because I am too poor to afford either a small new car, or a large old one. I am walking because I like to do so, because I see no need to drive around Gib unnecessarily, and if I don't wish to walk I will get on the bus.

I am not some poverty-stricken urchin from subsidised housing or someone living in controlled rented accommodation. I am almost certainly far better off than you, and probably was at your age too. So you can just stop treating me with such disrespect because I happen to be on two feet and not on four wheels.

You are rude arrogant selfish and totally lacking in respect for people. If you hadn't been going so fast, you might have heard the abuse that I shouted at you.

Second prize of the week, ie runner-up, was awarded yesterday. As the boots were wet, I have been going out in training shoes.

On trying to put them on yesterday I was puzzled to discover the laces seemed to be stuck underneath. To a huge wad of chewing gum. Which did not seem to want to come off.

Quite honestly, when I do my trainers up, I do not want to be reminded of what someone I don't know has been chewing in their mouth. Nor do I want to walk round picking up every piece of dross on the street that sticks to the gum on the sole of my trainer. If you want to chew gum, arsehole, put in a bin when you have finished with it, not on the pavement. Ignorant git.

Third prize..... Nope. There isn't one. Fortunately there aren't too many arses in my life.

Printer/scanners - HP Photosmart All-in-One

So on going away for my holiday, I disconnected the printer and the computer, via the USB cable. Turned everything off at the switch (just in case) even though we have surge protectors. Put computer - laptop - away carefully.

I have done this before, I might add. Come back, reconnect everything, all working fine. This morning, decide to scan something in. Oh. No. Scanner and computer not having a bar of it. Won't print either. In fact, despite being about two centimetres away from each other, they apparently are unaware of each other's existence.

What is really really really annoying, is that I had this problem a couple of months ago. At the time, I uninstalled the printer software - HP Photosmart C5280 All-In-One - and reinstalled it. Again and again. Of course every time I did this my printer apparently wasn't supported by the installation. Er why not?

It was, over a year ago when I bought it and worked perfectly well then. So I emailed HP support and got no response. There was nothing on the website - that I could find - that was remotely relevant. Mostly geared towards PCs and Windows anyway. Note to HP - way to go. Alienate any potential Mac customers. Don't bother making your on-line chat with a technician compatible with the built-in Mac browser - Safari.

Still annoyed, somewhat later, I emailed HP again to point out their guaranteed 24 hour response had not happened. Some days later in fact. At this point I did get a reasonable response from someone asking what my problem was as they didn't have a record of it. It was hardly a helpful response but at least it was a response which was more than I had received so far.

But then Irritating Partner finally decided to take a week's holiday and started by instructing me to buy a memory stick, back everything up and reinstall my operating system. OK, so I knew I should be backing up stuff anyway. Just needed a bit of motivation. But with arse duly kicked, I trotted off to the shop, bought the biggest memory stick they had, and backed everything up. Very fast. Impressed really. Not half the chore I expected.

Next step, obliterate everything, gasp, gulp. And reinstall Mac OS X. Which didn't take too long. Lo and behold. We were up and running again. Reinstalled everything off the memory stick. No probs there either. Finally, fingers crossed, reinstalled the HP printer software. *Yay* That worked too. So what the fuck is wrong with it now???????? In approximately two weeks, why has it taken a hissy fit again?

This will be the last fucking time I EVER buy anything with an HP tag on it, I can say. There had better be a good response coming from the support centre. (It hasn't arrived yet, needless to state). Tips, advice or helpful comments from anyone who has any idea what on earth to do, would be more than welcome. You might even warrant a job with HP's technical department.

On giving up

I've been reading someone's account of trying to give up smoking. And failing. Good intentions, plans, deadline to quit. And then, missing it, needing it, wanting to start again. Not sleeping well, wake up feeling sick, head aches, irritable. Remembering the enjoyment, the fun times, the relaxation - knowing it's bad for you, but wanting to go back. I thought it was strange. It didn't sound so much to me like giving up smoking as giving up a relationship. The one where you suddenly realise it isn't for you any more. There comes a moment when you realise however good it has been, it's just not a good idea to continue with it. So you go through the same process as the person quitting smoking. Decide to end it. Pluck up the courage to do it, psyche yourself up. Go through with it. Tell him. And miss him. Spend all your time thinking about him, sleep badly, wake up feeling sick wondering why you have done this and ask yourself if you have done the wrong thing. You remember the good times. You look at the 'phone, wait for it to ring. When it rings, you don't know whether to answer it or leave it. If you do answer it and it's not him, you are annoyed with yourself for feeling disappointed. Or these days, you're just as likely to break up by email. So you rush to look at your mails. Disappointed when it's not from him. Stomach churns when it is and you close it without replying. But he's persistent and you can't resist, so you start all over again. And it's good for a while. Although you know it's really not doing you any good. So you try stopping again. And again. Going through the same process each time. Feeling guilty for starting again, enjoying it but knowing at some point you are really going to have to end it for good. And one day you do. You don't know at the time, but as the days pass and you think about him less, don't have the same desire any more, and don't look at the 'phone all the time or dash to your inbox - that's when you've got it beaten. I don't know if it's the same for smokers, because I've never started, so I've never had to give up. Guess giving up anything - chocolate, alcohol, cigarettes, a relationship - is difficult. The only difference with giving up a relationship is that there is someone on the other end. Maybe finding it as hard as you. Or harder. Or maybe easier. But when you've given him up, you'll never know what he thought. Best not to think about it either.

Supermarket rant

I just loathe going to the supermarket. At any time. However, these nasty chores have to be shared. So I trotted down there tonight to get a few essentials which all fit nicely in a hand basket. I can't drive the trolley anyway - or rather - choose not to. Now Morrisons in Gibraltar has installed a few 'Hand basket only" tills. I think previously they were 12 items only. Either way, I don't really care. But, hand basket does not mean one trolley. Just like, 12 items does not mean 15 or 18 (I can live with 13 or 14 without whingeing). And there is nothing more annoying than unloading your shopping and getting a strict cashier telling you that you have missed the sign above your head and need to load everything back and clear off to the appropriate check-out. So, normally, if I am standing at a basket-only counter, I helpfully point this out to people with trollies so they don't waste their time. It makes no difference to me because I am in front of them. Today, as I wandered round to the bottom of the supermarket, I noticed a couple of British women who were unloading their trolley and clearly hadn't seen the sign. "Excuse me, I said," interfering helpfully. "It's hand baskets only." I walked on. But turned round and saw them continuing to pile on their stuff. Picked up my two items and went back. Puzzled, I said, "I told you it was hand baskets only." "Oh, we've got a hand basket," they said. And pointed to the one they had taken from the pile under the counter. "Yeah, and you've got a trolley too." "Well, we're sharing the shopping," they said. At which point I was losing the plot. "Excuse me," to the cashier. "Isn't this hand baskets not trollies?" "Yes." "Well, this is a trolley." It was feeling surreal by now. Is this hand baskets or trollies with baskets? "Oh, but they have a basket so I can't do anything," replied the cashier. Well, I was so stunned I couldn't think of anything to say. Bleached Brits could. "Get a life!" they said smartly to me. Smirking. So I went to another till, where the people were pleasant and easy-going. The woman in front of me went to get something she had forgotten so I looked after her stuff. The man behind had a trolley but so little stuff it could have fitted in a basket. Nobody was precious. Truth is, I've got so used to Spanish supermarkets that whenever I see someone behind me with one or two items I always say 'Pasa'. I do it in Gib as well. But why do people just want to get one over on you? Why do they want to be so fucking clever? Why take your trolley full of stuff and pretend you had baskets when you didn't? Anyway, I'll know next time. I'll just ask the incompetent cashier to note that you have a trolley and this is baskets only - before you get that basket from under the counter. And as for you Morrisons. If you have a policy, shame you don't stick to it. Finally. Bleached Brits. I have a life. And I bet it is a shit load better than yours. Fuck right off out of my face, you are ignorant and disrespectful.