Friday, 25 November 2011


There are lots of good things about the internet. Mostly, in my opinion, that includes sharing information for free.

But there are an awful lot of bad things too. Truth is, I'm not sure what value it has added to my life. I managed well enough before.

Fax, 'phone, mail order worked fine.

But, let alone the abhorrent, pornographic, and violent garbage that is on the internet, there are also your average arguments.

I'm more than qualified to speak about this as I have argued with the whole world on the internet.

On forums, via Facebook, pms, and emails. Not on blogs as far as I can recall because I am a supreme dictator on my blogs and censor anything that I think is rubbish. Such power.

One of my - natch - ex-friends, described Facebook as the Work of the Devil. In a way she was right. But the truth is, it's not the (social - or anti-social) network site - whether FB or a forum - that is the problem, it's the online intimacy that develops between people who have never met. And may never meet. When there is a mix of dynamics where some meet and others don't, the situation gets even more complicated.

The reason I started this post was because I was saddened to read something on a FB wall. It was on the wall of one my friends (who I didn't meet) who died this year. Won't take a genius to work out who that was. I never fell out with her (!) and I respected her courage and strength. Wow! Was she tough.

There was a disagreement on that person's wall about posts after her death. And, all the points had merit, I didn't disagree with them. The bizarre thing about FB is that when someone has died, people go back to their wall and post, and say 'We miss you.' Or maybe they just go back to read, because you don't, or can't, just wipe out a lifetime with a flick of a key. Maybe people want to just look back and remember. Who knows? It's like a photo album, or reading through old letters or whatever.

To me, those pages should remain for what people want to say on there, if anything. People may want to leave messages to family, friends, and make commemorative posts. I have another friend who died this year, who I did meet. Her FB page is a peaceful place to visit. And that, to me, is how FB pages for our former friends should be.

If we want to spat about stuff on FB, there are other places to take it. Or even a link, but I really think it would be nice to leave the pages of all of our former friends as that peaceful place.

On FB, we all have our own walls, our own groups where we can share our hurt feelings. They are the best places to vent. Or maybe on our blogs.

And then, we take them down. Or at least I do. When someone has read my really fed up rant of the day, I can take it down and move on. Because taking it down shows you have put it behind you. To you, and to everyone else.

Arguing over the internet.

You see, sometimes we don't need to do it. I will share my golden PR rule for the zilliionth time, the one I often forget. Never argue with the stuff that doesn't merit it.

Because, arguing, gives that crap point credence. Leave it alone. There are different ways - and different places - to get your message across.

Hey - I always follow my own rules .....


Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

Not sure if the phrase "Work of The Devil" was my phrase you quoted, after all I seem to be an ex friend. However it seems a very familiar phrase I use a great deal. So may be it is me, or may be not, and I am being vain in the extreme thinking you would even refer to me.

Imho though, Facebook is the work of the devil, I have always said so and always will believe my opinion to be right.

Facebook caused me, in one short space of time, to fall out with two on line'friends'.....I, who never fall out with friends in "real life".

Oh yes, I disagree with my real life friends, but the best bit of real life friends is, we can say sorry face to face and make up. Buy a bunch of flowers or a bottle of wine, and share a hug. Apologise and move on.

Sadly, with on line friends it is different.

The written word, with hasty facebook posts, comments written in haste, all of which are written in the heat of the moment, or whatever can be hurtful in the extreme. IMHO instant communication is not good for true friendship.

I took a long break from blogs, facebook et al, just to breathe in the fresh air, to watch the wheels go round, to relax and enjoy life.

I am back there, but I after my experiences this year, on line, I am far more wary of what I write, what I post.

It has been a steep and kind of bitter sweet learning curve.

I never liked Facebook, still don't, but the Little Girl With A Curl in me, is drawn back to it every time.

I watch the on line spats, the disagreements and the fall outs, but from the side lines now.

Life is too short. Facebook and the Internet have their good points, I would miss keeping up with my family if I wasn't on line, but I also miss just having a laugh with like minded on line friends.


roughseasinthemed said...

Of course it was you J. No point pretending good times and laughs didn't happen, and when I wrote this post it struck me as a most apposite description, so I quoted you. Although not by name, as I thought you may prefer to be curlishly anonymous. Can always change that but it's not normally how I tend to write on here.

Hope Marv is ok.

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

Marv is fine, and thank you for asking after him. He is like a Duracell Battery, just keeps on going, living life at a huge and wonderfully breathless pace.

I hope Pipparoonie is also doing well.

And as a lover of language and all its uses, I adore the word "apposite".

I stopped by to wish you and Pippa and He Who Must Work.....a very Happy Christmas, and all good wishes for 2012.

J xx