First prize goes to the totally ignorant inconsiderate driver on Queensway on Saturday afternoon who seemed to think
a) it was necessary to speed, and
b) specifically speed through puddles and splash passers-by.
In fact, not just splash passers-by, soak them. Throw water right up the back of my coat, all down the back of my trousers so they were soaked inside and out, and my boots as well of course.
It took two days for the boots to dry out, and I don't know how long it would have taken the clothes, but I chucked them in the tumble dryer.
Now listen, you arsehole in your small go-fasty goody. I am not walking because I am too poor to afford either a small new car, or a large old one. I am walking because I like to do so, because I see no need to drive around Gib unnecessarily, and if I don't wish to walk I will get on the bus.
I am not some poverty-stricken urchin from subsidised housing or someone living in controlled rented accommodation. I am almost certainly far better off than you, and probably was at your age too. So you can just stop treating me with such disrespect because I happen to be on two feet and not on four wheels.
You are rude arrogant selfish and totally lacking in respect for people. If you hadn't been going so fast, you might have heard the abuse that I shouted at you.
Second prize of the week, ie runner-up, was awarded yesterday. As the boots were wet, I have been going out in training shoes.
On trying to put them on yesterday I was puzzled to discover the laces seemed to be stuck underneath. To a huge wad of chewing gum. Which did not seem to want to come off.
Quite honestly, when I do my trainers up, I do not want to be reminded of what someone I don't know has been chewing in their mouth. Nor do I want to walk round picking up every piece of dross on the street that sticks to the gum on the sole of my trainer. If you want to chew gum, arsehole, put in a bin when you have finished with it, not on the pavement. Ignorant git.
Third prize..... Nope. There isn't one. Fortunately there aren't too many arses in my life.
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