Sometimes .....

Sometimes I just want to reach out and touch you.

 But you aren't there any more. Not for me anyway. Maybe you never really were there for me.

I thought you were though, and that's what matters. I've no place in your life any more. I don't know what you are doing, or where you are, or what you are thinking. I wish I did.

We should never have got so close of course. Easy to say after the event. You don't even realise you have let someone become close until - suddenly, without warning - they are there, in your life, and they mean something to you.

Maybe we did because opposites attract. Or maybe because we aren't opposite at all, we're very similar. Who knows?

I should focus on the good times and think about how I got something nice out of it. But all that does is make me wish the good times were still here.

And I remember those warm hugs when I was feeling fed-up. Few and far-between but maybe that's why they were so nice. When they arrived, they were lovely.

Now there is just a bleak emptiness stretching out in front of me. For ever. All I can do is write to myself, because I can't write to you.

And look for the email that will never arrive.