Monday, 16 January 2012

Dreams and aspirations

This post is partly inspired by one from my friend Blue - over here.
I'm not writing about the same topic - but, in some ways perhaps I am.

Who doesn't have dreams and aspirations when we are young?

Crap that we are brought up with (in my personal case), garbage that society feeds us about a woman's role in life and the eternal prince who will one day arrive, and then, as we get a head on our shoulders - we find our own dreams. (without a shitty prince)

A great career. Travel the world. If we are lucky - maybe a good relationship with someone. That's probably the most difficult one. But I thought I did most of those.

One day, we sit down. We know some of those dreams won't come true. And it hits hard I tell you.

When I told my mother i was going to chuck the UK and live in Spain - she said dismissively - 'Castles in the air,' - but it was the one she visited in the end. So, maybe not a castle, but I still got there. To my personal castle in Spain.

But now, where I am I? Able to afford those trips to Africa, South America, Central America etc etc etc that I wanted? Of course not. I'm counting the pennies per day. I joke not.

You make financial plans. You add net present value (yeah I can do that) - and, NPV doesn't quite equate for the glorious US of A fucking up the world economy so well.

What else? Well the UK govt decides to keep increasing the pension age. Thanks. That is so unhelpful. I paid 40% fucking tax, shagged my arse off and I can't even get back into the country where I was born and get jack shit nada.

Oh, this wasn't the point of the post.

My dreams and aspirations are now only hoping to be able to survive. A bit like my friend.

When you realise you can't realise your dreams - the hope dies. I know where she is coming from.

And then - you have to change your aspirations. Ain't quite the same though. Can I earn enough to live - is not the same as - can I plan my trip to South America?

More simply - where do I get the money to even live?

Oh and to any smug bastards who think people have not been 'prudent' - don't even go there. We all try for a life. Any critics and I will have your fucking arse. If you dare go there.


Blue said...

Kate - your take is different from mine yet there is much we share, since you read deep, beyond the words of my post possibly because we email talk!
But, once cast adrift from the job market, no matter the reason, survival is all we have, and money even if not our God makes a life.
You are blessed with Adrian & Pippa but cash not - me I have a little to hand after my 'move' but no love as aspirations there have died!
What is worse I ponder.
Hope is what we all need, it lifts our spirits but when constantly dashed we struggle.

Totty Teabag said...

When I was younger and going through a "bad patch", I could always go to bed at night and dream of what might be possible in the future; the places I might visit, the houses I could design and build, the people I might meet, the jobs I could get, and what, after a bad day, I no longer have that comfort available. No point in planning trips as I have lost the urge for pastures new, no chance in the present financial crisis of selling our large but dated house, built before modern building regulations, so no way to finance a new build, no one will give me a job at my age even if I was capable of doing it, and meeting new people is hard for someone who doesn't get out much...LOL... my dreams and aspirations for travel are now much closer to home... planning trips to town that allow me to avoid the ever changing street repairs and still get OH where he needs to be the next day without him having to walk more than a few yards unaided. There are some good points to getting older; I used to get really, really annoyed when lying awake listening to OH snore. Now I don't, I just think how much worse I would feel if he wasn't there snoring...

roughseasinthemed said...

Your post resonated with me, regardless of emails. My as usual - blunt answer is - we all need the money :(

And when we lack love and money or whatever else, truth is, the only thing left we have to do is look within ourselves.

That's a bit OTT for me, but you get the idea. Not much choice really. Gotta be pragmatic. Lots of dreams have gone. Need to change them, that's all, even though it is difficult :(

roughseasinthemed said...

My first comment was to Diane. My second is to Totty - you said everything I wanted to say but better :(